Kamala Harris: This button is for times when she's having tense negotiating meetings in the Oval when she pushes it a large photo of her looking unimpressed at a Senate hearing lowers from the ceiling. People come into the Oval and they're like "President Warren! Magneto escaped from plastic prison!" and she pushes the button and the plan she wrote for that comes out. It's like the Staples "That Was Easy" button except it's not easy but it is solvable. Here's some suggestions:Įlizabeth Warren: More plans. Presuming the button is now a permanent fixture in the Oval, one wonders what the next occupant of the office will program it for. He is basically a teenager in an afterschool special who stumbles upon a magic wish-granting ring and then learns a valuable lesson. His entire day is made up of all the soda he could ever want, showing reporters pictures of his cool new plane, and yelling about things being unfair. Who is this for? Who needs all this? Make Soda Simple Again!Īs much as it's detrimental to the nation and the future of the world, you have to give it to Trump for following through on his vision of governing like little three ids in a trenchcoat. He's really in there treating the Oval Office like it's one of those huge machines that gives you any beverage you want and requires you to key in a bunch of codes and such like you're programming a time-traveling Delorean. Trump has literally nothing on the Resolute desk except a button for soda pop and the ghost of his disapproving father.
Landingham" to bring you one of your Go-Go Juices? Strange is making his little Burning Man fire circles in the air all over the place? I'm just saying, could this meeting be an email?Ī button though? You really can't just yell into the next room for "Evil Mrs. Can you imagine, all you wanted was a refreshing zero calorie thirst quencher and all of the sudden Dr. First of all, isn't there some other button that presidents supposedly have to release the nukes or summon the Avengers or something? I feel like bringing a second button into the mix is a recipe for hijinks. But it's the button that's really got me messed up.
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